A MESSY START | THE ALTERED DIARY

The Altered Diary started out as just an Instagram page to share my digital artwork apart from my non-objective abstract painting, but it became so much more.

I didn't expect to like it this much, really. It just happened. I thought to myself, what would my peers from art school say? I was always a traditional artist - now I do digital as well?

But those thoughts slowly fell away. Because to be honest, I didn't care anymore. I didn't care what other people thought of my work. For so long I cared. I "failed" so many times at art, when really, I just wasn't listening to my heart.

Anxiety and depression have always ruled my life from a young age. I couldn't tell you exactly when it began. Creating always gave me a sense of purpose though, like I was meant to do it. I thought I had to find my style, but really that is just a myth. We discover ourselves when we create. And we have to create a lot.

Digital collage was a pleasant surprise. I just couldn't my iPad down. It struck me so hard that I fell off my metaphorical rocker.

To say I never suffer from imposter syndrome would be a lie. I combat it everyday. Then 2015 Shia Labeouf appears inside of my mind and wakes me up saying “JUST DO IT... AHHHHHHH” .... and I say “HELL YEAH! I’ll do it!”

- This process going back and forth many times, sometimes within hours.

Like this blog of instance. Months ago I purchased the domain, determined to write my heart out and gain attraction. What ending up happening? I quit the idea for three months and had so many drafts saved up, many I just deleted.

Enough was enough. Just like anything else, I just had to put it out there. So I hit publish and began writing. I’m not the best writer in the world but this is my voice. Genuine, authentic. I want to share with the world my experiences and knowledge.

So this is me - imperfect, ADHD brained, mom, dog mom, and as always... an artist.

Much love and art,

Jaqualine Hall | The Altered Diary